Loving-Kindness Meditation: What It Is and How to Practice Metta

Bottom line first: Loving-kindness meditation (metta) is the practice of deliberately cultivating warm, benevolent feelings toward yourself and others by silently repeating simple phrases of goodwill. It is not about forcing yourself to feel something you don’t feel, and it is not sentimental or hypocritical—the goal is simply to offer the wish, whether or not the feeling arrives on cue . The research is promising but nuanced: a 2024 meta-analysis of 23 randomized controlled trials found that loving-kindness interventions produced positive effects on mindfulness, compassion, positive affect, negative affect, and psychological symptoms compared to passive controls, though effects were non-significant relative to active control groups or alternative treatments . In plain terms: it works better than doing nothing, and it may be comparable to other established approaches—but it is not a magic bullet.

What Exactly Is Metta?

Metta is a Pali word often translated as loving-kindness, friendliness, or goodwill. The practice involves mentally sending wishes of safety, happiness, health, and ease toward a sequence of recipients—traditionally beginning with oneself, then a loved one, a neutral person, a difficult person, and finally all beings .

The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia describes it as “the softening of the mind and heart, an opening to deeper levels of the feelings of kindness and love”—but crucially, it is not an obligation and does not depend on how the other person feels about us. You are simply sending good wishes, even to people you may not know .

How to Practice: A Step-by-Step Guide

1. Settle in and find your anchor. Sit comfortably, close your eyes or soften your gaze, and take a few natural breaths. Let your attention rest on the sensations of breathing before you begin the phrases .

2. Start with someone easy to love—and that may not be yourself. This is a point where teachers differ, and it matters. Ajahn Brahm advises against starting with yourself or a difficult person, comparing it to trying to light a campfire by striking a match under a thick log. Instead, begin with something that easily ignites warmth—an imaginary kitten, a puppy, a baby—and use imagination to generate the feeling first . Berkeley’s Greater Good in Action, by contrast, begins with self-directed phrases. Both approaches are valid; the key is to start where warmth arises most naturally for you .

3. Use simple, repeatable phrases. The traditional formulations are variations on: May I be safe. May I be healthy. May I be happy. May I live with ease. You can also use the CHOP version: May I be safe from harm. May I be happy just as I am. May I be peaceful no matter what is happening. May I be healthy and strong. Choose phrases that feel authentic to you, and repeat them silently, letting them become your own words.

4. Move through the sequence. After yourself (or your chosen starting point), bring to mind a loved one and offer the same wishes: May you be safe. May you be healthy. May you be happy. May you live with ease. Then a neutral person—an acquaintance, a stranger you passed on the street. Then, if you feel ready, a difficult person. Finally, widen the circle to all beings everywhere .

5. When your mind wanders or the feeling doesn’t come, keep offering the intention. Berkeley’s script is explicit on this: “Maybe it seems artificial and stilted to say such things to yourself. Maybe you’re not feeling loving kindness in this moment, and that’s okay. Whatever you’re feeling, you can hold the intention of loving kindness, offering it from wherever you are” . The phrases are the practice; the feeling is a guest that may or may not arrive.

What the Research Says—and What It Doesn’t

The positive findings. The 2024 meta-analysis found that relative to passive control conditions, loving-kindness interventions had positive effects on mindfulness, compassion, positive affect, negative affect, and psychological symptoms . Notably, the effects did not differ based on sample type (community vs. university), intervention format, intervention length, or whether a live facilitator was present—suggesting that brief, self-guided practice can be effective .

The caveats. The same meta-analysis found that effects were non-significant relative to active control groups and alternative therapeutic treatments . This means loving-kindness meditation has not been proven superior to other active interventions—only superior to doing nothing. A neuroimaging review noted that the dose-effect relationship remains unclear, though longer practice may produce more significant changes .

A specific clinical signal. A 2025 study on a novel loving-kindness intervention integrating cognition and behavior (LKM-CB) found that it significantly improved clinical depression, with neuroimaging suggesting changes in reward anticipation and outcome activation patterns . This is preliminary but points to a potential mechanism: loving-kindness may engage the brain’s social reward system.

A Note on Difficulty

Metta is not always comfortable. Research on therapists in training found that while loving-kindness meditation increased well-being and compassion, it was also “experienced as emotionally challenging” . A retreat teacher identifies common challenges including distractions, sleepiness, inability to access the heart, and difficult emotions or body-states emerging during practice .

If you find yourself feeling numb, irritated, or upset during metta, this is not a sign that you are doing it wrong. It may mean that the practice is touching something real. You can return to a neutral or easy object, shorten the session, or simply offer the phrases without expecting any particular feeling to arise.

The Takeaway

Loving-kindness meditation is a simple practice with a modest but growing evidence base. It asks you to do something that sounds almost too simple: repeat wishes of well-being for yourself and others. The research suggests it can improve positive emotions, reduce negative ones, and possibly engage the brain’s reward circuitry—though it is not a proven treatment and may not outperform other active interventions. Start where warmth comes easily. Offer the phrases without demanding the feeling. And if the practice brings up difficulty, treat that with the same kindness you are trying to cultivate.

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Medical Disclaimer: This article is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Loving-kindness meditation is generally considered safe for most people, but it is not a substitute for professional mental health care. If you are experiencing symptoms of depression, anxiety, trauma-related distress, or another medical or psychological condition, consult a qualified healthcare provider before beginning or modifying any meditation practice. Some individuals may experience increased distress, difficult emotions, or unsettling experiences during loving-kindness or compassion-focused practices; if this occurs, discontinue the practice and seek guidance from a healthcare professional. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.